It is of great use to the sailor to know the length of his line, though he cannot with it fathom all the depths of the ocean.

— John Locke

Welcome to SP3!

I have three absolutely amazing children (born in 2007, 2009, and 2013), and I’ll be using this blog to document our unique journey. Life is challenging for every single living creature, but for some (like my oldest child, with numerous diagnoses – ODD, DMDD, ADHD Combined Type, Anxiety Disorder, Math Learning Disability, High Functioning Autism, and Depression) it seems to be even more obstacle-ridden.

Maybe some of us need to struggle significantly so that others can learn from their difficulties? Or maybe there are other such lessons necessary for furthering sustainable life? I am not religious, but spiritual; I’m a yogi, believe in the power of manifesting your future, and I meditate. I feel like my child’s plight may have to do with the universe creating balance. Maybe we need every type of person with every type of problem in order to achieve a greater species generations to come. Maybe there isn’t actually a reason why, but simply another example of life’s unfairness. Their father surely had some of these issues, but he refused to acknowledge them or to get any help. I myself suffer from PTSD, depression and anxiety that stemmed from my decade-long abusive relationship with their father. Everyone has their issues; life ensures us that alone.

As a single mother of three, things are logistically chaotic. I have full legal and physical custody (and have since 2012, when my ex-husband was arrested for domestic violence), and my children spend every weekend with me. I have no family within 1000 miles, and as a single mother “down time” doesn’t exist. Money is really tight and I’m always just scrapping by even though I work two jobs, have a Master’s degree, and am a licensed yoga teacher. I don’t receive any child support from their father (although he’s court ordered, he has never payed – he hides, doesn’t register his address, and doesn’t work legally). I don’t ever expect that he’ll pay. At least not monetarily.

Between two jobs and full-time parenting, I am typically busy and on very little sleep. Sometimes I feel so incredibly lonely and lost in this battle to help my children reach their potential. I have only a handful of friends and I hardly ever go out of my house to socialize. I am hoping that through this blog I can connect with other hardworking parents determined to peacefully and positively survive the intensity of raising children (in general, yet even more so those who have special needs children) on the spectrum, with mood disorders, etc. Maybe this will be my chance to create a link of empathy and encouragement in the parenting community, helping us all to stay strong and keep pressing forward.

We can raise self-aware, responsible, helpful, mindful citizens who contribute to the world’s greater good. Despite their (or our) diagnoses, we shall see that they succeed!